Islamabad (Digital Post) — This Is a Matter Involving a Girl, Not a War Between Clans: An Abbasi Girl or a Gujjar Girl

Islamabad (Digital Post): In our society, certain incidents begin within the four walls of a home but quickly engulf the peace of an entire area, the relationships between two families, and the mutual respect between two communities. A girl or boy leaving home of their own free will is one such sensitive matter. At such a time, what is needed most is reason, patience, and the rule of law. Unfortunately, we often allow emotions to prevail over reason.

Recently, under a post by young man Ehtisham Chaudhry, Mr. Ayub Jadoon made a very thoughtful, balanced, and worthy comment. After obtaining his permission, I have included his views in this column because sometimes the straightforward and sincere words of an ordinary person serve as a mirror for the entire society. The basic message of his comment was that a domestic matter should not become a cause of hostility between two communities and that no innocent family should be subjected to threats, pressure, or collective punishment.

The real question is this: if an adult girl or boy leaves home of their own free will, can an entire family belonging to another community be made to pay for it? Is blocking someone’s way, forcing shops to close, issuing threats, or spreading fear among people a solution to any problem? In my view, every sensible person would answer with an emphatic no.

It is encouraging that Iftikhar Khan Abbasi, a well-known personality from Lora, also made his position clear on this occasion. He said that people should not commit injustice and that blocking someone’s way or forcing shops to close is not an acceptable course of action. This is precisely the message that needs to be heard in such sensitive circumstances. Grief has its place, and anger has its place, but obstructing a citizen’s movement or shutting down their business is not justice.

I am not saying this merely as someone speaking from a distance. My relationships with the people of Lora did not begin today; they go back several decades. I have friends and benefactors there with whom I share many memories of my life.

Our relationship with Sardar Inayat-ur-Rehman Abbasi is a longstanding one, and he is among our benefactors. A relationship with those who have helped us is not limited to exchanging greetings; their kindness and affection remain in our hearts throughout our lives. Similarly, Arshad Abbasi is one of my closest friends. With friends like these, how could I accept anyone telling me that Gujjars and Abbasis should be pitted against one another?

Jahangir Abbasi, associated with Azam Hospital, is our family doctor. Our relationship with him is also built on trust and affection. I have countless friends in Lora. My very dear friend Ashraf Abbasi, known as Peena Wala, has passed away. His children are now making a name for themselves and bringing honour to their family abroad. Mentioning Ishtiaq Abbasi also brings back memories of an old friendship and longstanding relationship.

And who could forget the late Maqbool Abbasi? I had the opportunity to work with Brigadier Taj Abbasi, and I also have a relationship with his son, Rashid Yar. My political mentor, Matab Khan, also belongs to the Abbasi family. How many names can I possibly mention? These are only a few examples; my history of relationships with Lora and Abbasi families is much longer.

So how could I tolerate an attempt to build a wall of hatred between Gujjars and Abbasis on the basis of a single incident?

I am a Gujjar myself, and our families have intermarried with Abbasi families. We have given daughters in marriage and welcomed daughters-in-law into our families. These relationships are not limited to our respective communities; they extend to our family lives, personal connections, and hearts. We have shared happiness and grief, and people have stood by one another in difficult times.

However, one other aspect of this entire matter has saddened me even more: the silence of our elected representatives.

Whether it is our provincial assembly member, Rajab Abbasi, his brother Sajid Ali, or other prominent elected representatives of our area, regardless of whether they belong to Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf or Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz, I believe they should not remain silent spectators on such occasions. I am not passing judgment on anyone’s intentions, but I am certainly raising a question: when there is a risk of tension developing between two families or two communities, where are our elected representatives?

If the public has sent them to the assemblies, it has not done so merely to secure their votes. Their real test comes precisely at times like these, when a difficult situation arises. I feel disappointed when the impression emerges that perhaps a representative is reluctant to speak out for fear of upsetting older voters, or that someone is worried about losing Abbasi votes or Gujjar votes.

If an elected representative weighs every issue on the scale of electoral advantage, where will justice come from?

Imran Khan’s political slogan was justice. For years, we heard and repeated the message that justice should be for everyone: the weak and the powerful, our own people and our opponents alike. If our own people remain silent after reaching the assemblies when a matter threatens social peace, it is only natural to ask whether the seat of power has weakened our voices.

This question is not limited to PTI members. Elected representatives belonging to PML-N and other political parties also represent the same society. Politics has its place, and community affiliations have theirs. But when peace, dignity, and citizens’ rights are at stake, representatives must rise above their political parties and voter bases and speak out.

My appeal is not directed against any one individual; it is addressed to everyone. If you truly represent the public, step forward at such a time. Listen to both sides, bring the elders together, uphold the law, and assure people that no innocent person will be subjected to injustice.

If the boy has made a mistake, the law is there. If the girl has made a decision, its legal implications can be addressed through the law. If the parents have been hurt, their pain should be understood. But treating every member of another family as a criminal is not justice.

If the girl is an adult, the law also gives importance to her statement and her wishes. The Constitution protects a person’s life and liberty under the law, while freedom of expression and journalism also enjoy constitutional protection.

Similarly, if a family is accused of something, imposing collective punishment before the allegation has been proven is unjust. A jirga, panchayat, community, or influential individuals cannot punish a citizen by placing themselves above the law.

And if someone is threatened, this is not merely morally wrong. Section 503 of the Pakistan Penal Code defines criminal intimidation, while Section 506 deals with its punishment.

For this reason, if a journalist writes about this matter, raises questions, or brings the account of either side before the public, threatening that journalist is also entirely unacceptable. A journalist has a responsibility to verify the news, avoid damaging anyone’s reputation, and refrain from making unverified allegations. However, threatening a journalist into silence when they responsibly bring an issue to light is no solution.

If journalists fall silent out of fear, who will become the voice of the vulnerable?

For God’s sake, do not create such a conflict between the Abbasis and the Gujjars. Both communities are part of our society. Our families have intermarried; we have given daughters in marriage and welcomed daughters-in-law. My own relationships are living proof of this. Benefactors such as Sardar Inayat-ur-Rehman Abbasi, close friends such as Arshad Abbasi, trustworthy people such as Jahangir Abbasi, and countless other relationships cannot be erased by a single incident.

After all, the boy is someone’s child, and the girl is someone’s daughter. Either of them may have made a mistake. Their decisions may affect both their lives. But how sensible is it to use their actions as a reason to set thousands of people against one another?

We must move beyond the mindset of the age of ignorance, when the mistake of one individual became a matter of honour for an entire community and a cycle of revenge continued for generations. Today, we have laws, courts, police, administration, and countless avenues for dialogue. Why, then, should we take the law into our own hands?

I appeal to all respected residents of Lora, particularly our Abbasi and Gujjar brothers, not to escalate this matter any further. Everyone should pursue their lawful rights through legal channels. The parents’ pain should be addressed with compassion, allegations should be decided by the courts, and no innocent person should be subjected to collective punishment.

I also have a request for our elected representatives: the public’s vote is a trust placed in you not just on election day but during every difficult moment. If you speak about justice only when your votes are secure, the public will certainly ask what purpose you were elected to serve in the assembly.

No one’s way should be blocked, no one’s shop should be forced to close, no one should be compelled to leave the area, and no journalist should be threatened for writing the truth.

Communities exist to support one another in difficult times, not to turn people into enemies. Relationships are meant to bring hearts together, not spread hatred. Honour cannot be gained by dishonouring someone else.

The matter involving the girl must be resolved through the law, and the matter involving the boy must also be resolved through the law. But the bonds of affection, family relationships, and trust built over many years between the Abbasis and the Gujjars must not be sacrificed because of a single incident.

For God’s sake, do not turn a problem within one household into a war between two communities. And our elected representatives must not remain silent. If they raise their voices today for peace, justice, and tolerance, people will say tomorrow that their representatives truly stood by them when it mattered.

Setting the fire of hatred is easy, but extinguishing it can take generations. It is our responsibility to strengthen the bonds our elders built with love rather than break them in a moment of anger.